随笔

1. ——I gotta tell you right now, you should give up on looking for "enough", because it will never be enough. ——I know, it's so stupid.

1. ——They say it's okay to cry, and that I shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad.
2. This last year I spent some time away, and it made me realize how special the people in my life are. And you might be the most special of them all.
3. ——I keep thinking about all the things I never said, because I was so sure there'd be other days to say them. ——Why don't you tell her now? ——It's not the same. I should have done it back when she knew who I was, back when it would mean something. But now, she's gonna die, and she's never gonna know just how much I hate her.
4. ——Well, all weddings are lies, right? Sort of. You're making this big declaration about how you're gonna stay with this person forever, but you don't actually know that. You're just saying it. The whole thing is a farce. ——Yeah, that's true. ——But it's a lie based on truth. Like, at the center of the farce, there's this nugget of something real and pure. And that strange beautiful something is why you put up with everything else, right? ——I guess so. ——And sometimes it's hard to remember that pure, shining thing because it's been painted over with so many arguments and compromises and disappointments. But you have to believe it's still down there somewhere even if you can't see it. And maybe even the belief in it is more important than the thing itself, but only as long as you still believe it. Does that make sense? ——Yeah. Thanks, Diane.
5. ——No, obviously I meant screw everything up until she hates me. I don't think I can take that. ——Maybe this time, don't do the thing that makes her hate you. ——I don't want to, but every time she looks at me with those big innocent eyes, all I can think about is every shitty thing I've ever done, and I think, "I don't deserve that kind of love." ——Look, BoJack, I don't know a lot about balancing a state budget or how a bill becomes a law. I don't know a lot of things.But I do know this: everybody deserves to be loved.
6. ——Why can't I be happy? Am I busted? I am, I'm a pit. I'm a pit that good things fall into! ——I can't believe I'm crying. This is so dumb.
7. I wanted to be better when you saw me again. And I thought I could be, somehow. But I'm not. And even if I did get better, the best I could ever be is still just some other version of me.
8. ——I can't go back to my old life sober. It's so empty. ——Okay, okay. Here's the secret to being happy. ——Oh, I can't wait to hear this. ——Just pretend you are happy, and eventually you'll forget you're pretending. ——Maybe you're right. I just need to stop complaining and work harder. Everyone else is doing it. Why am I so special?
9. Do you ever get that feeling that like, to know you more is to love you less?
10. ——You know, sometimes I feel like our marriage is like a magic eye poster. And it's messy. And at first glance, it doesn't seem to make any sense. And it's hard to figure out. But sometimes, if you squint at it just right, everything lines up, and it's the most perfect... beautiful, amazing thing. ——Yeah, I know what you mean. ——But... I'm so tired of squinting. ——《Bojack Horseman Season 4》